Wow..haven't SEEN my blog for more than one month liaozzz..clnt even sign in in shanghai..guess its coz of some political resons..after i came back..the comp is down with some prob..and its still away for repairing now..had to ask my dad to bring back his cpu for the office..spent 2 days to get it set up and almost got electricuted..sighzz..and wats more..i cldnt sign in juz now coz of some technical prob lolx..and now finally..im here hahax..hols was a boredom so far..spent one whole mth in shanghai..well almost a whole mth..i wont mind to waste tym during sch term..but this one mth is 1/2 of my precious holidays that i've been waitin and waitin for since june!!!!! Yep i did achieve my "objectives" in shanghai i stayed away fr this familiar environment and i yinju-ed..but the tym was reli toooooo long!!! U noe i cant live without friends and fun and crazy stuff..but at least i survived thru those days..miserably..i didnt miss out much here i guess..heard that class chalet was sad..and cs camp...think i was too lazy to do all those planning and stuff and spending 4 days with the same old ppl is a torture..k no offence..but i reali miss my dear friends here esp crystal..i wrote her oue whole "ghost book" in shanghai and gosh..she wrote me 244 pozcards..!!! so sad tt almost all the things we wrote sound so sad..haizz..guess m alwayzz so sad there days..went for the ntuc stuff for the last 4 days..hahaxx..only really worked on the first day and slacked more and more on the nxt few days..hahax slackers!!!! It was quite fun to be with crytal all these 4 days but juz realized cant take things for granted..no matter wat..i think i alwayz think so much maybe tt is wat is makin me so sad these days lolzz.though i alwayz look so "dun care" and blur one..only got to work half day at the cc today..but today was the most miserable day lolzz..not many ppl went today, everyone started off workin real hard to clear the last few boxes of the week..only me and crystal were slacking lolxx..i slacked coz she slacked not tt i wanted to slack..she went rite to the pile of story bks to search for comic bks the moment the day started and began to be totally engaged in her comic world..wat cld I do???!!! i juz sat in the pile and did almost nth..read half a bk of fairy tale..gosh..i juz cant work alone coz im reali afraid of lonliness esp when the others all now each other..i juz felt so damn stupid..i juz cldnt stand the fln of seeing others workin n myself slackin and seeing others in need for help n me staring back at them without anyaction..juz eye power lolx..then i suddenly felt so sad tt comics are actually more important than me to her..perhaps..she didnt even ans me when i talked to her..i noe comic is her world n shes juz so engaged in her "comical" world that she didnt hear me..so i decided to suppress my anger and sadness as well..decided tt i shld be more understanding as a friend..i always hate to show how bad i feel..n i didnt want her to noe i felt sad mah..luckily shes one who doesnt think to much.. so i suddenly thought was slipping away fr the work place..i went for a "bedok tour" so as not to feel soo bad to see others work so hard , to stop my anger and sadness fr growin and to hide my flns away fr her..i was away for abt half an hour..went to a "hill garden" which looks so deserted and eerie..ur hair wld literally stand if u enter..this place looks as though no one had gone there for ages..the air smelt so nice anyway..but wat makes this place so ghasty is tt theres broken wine bottles and plastic bags containing "unidentified objects"..god..this place is soo~~..but i enjoyed its eeriness..i actually went there twice after tourin around rest of the bedok neighbourhood..but i still had to look left and right and back while walking in there coz..it looks so suitable to be a murder scene..hahax..nice and rare to find such a place in spore..esp in an ordinary and densely populated neighbourhood..perhaps i wont hav looked so eerie if i had not been there alone..i dragged the time hopin that crystal wld be worried of me..i chose to enter thru the back door to see if she was still in her comic world..luckily she packin the bks ald..she didnt even notice my prsence when i went over..i had to announce "im back"..she juz asked me where was i and tt she went to the toilt to look for me n thought maybe i was called back by my mum..she said she was worried..but she didnt sound worried to me lolx!!! K..nvm i told myself..shld treasure someone who doesnt think in an adult and stupid way..i tried not to be angry and depressed coz hate to make her sad too..she asked me y we had nea fought the, day before yesterday, so i was so worried that today wld be our first tym to fight..in fact it cld be a cold fight..but luckily she didnt detect any sadness in me..pew..she thinks that everythin is normal bah..but i still feel that sth is not rite btw us today..there seems to be a gap of lack of understanding btw us..we talked so excitedly yesterday and the day before yesterday and had endless things to talk about..the the normal friendship btw the two of us lolx..but today was diff..we were both so quite..for me it was coz i ald had a strange feelin last nite abt our friendship today though we both had wondeerful tyms yesterday..but for her..i hav no idea at all..i had too say things that will sort of "agitate" her to make her toking lolx..sighz..n in the end gets books thrown onto me..sighzz..hard to be a friend..and to lock a friendship..decided i wont go on monday liaozz though she insisted tt she'd lyk to go coz i think a few days of seperation wld improve the situation more or less..juz like how we missed each other so much when i was in shanghai..let it be bah..think things shall be alright lah..my sixth sense tell s me tt..and my sixth sense is the only thing i hav confidence in now..hope things will get better..
Be happy!!! It's a sin to feel blue and miserable..isn't it..??? why not just keep a permanent smile on your pretty face that won't be very difficult.. It's just a muscle exercise, that will keep you young and happy...
