Looks like this kopfkissen blog is becoming my real blog..amazing..if u happen to drop by..please try not to read this entry..u'll regret..cos its bound to spoil ur day..im serious.. ZR is no doubt dead dead dead. i found the killer, it's not me. Remember how she was like last year? Happy go lucky is the way to say. She's alwayz full of flaws but at least is happy most of the time if not alwayz. Now i can hardly find things that can make me force a smile. Met my last years cme teacher during recess a few days ago..she asked me," How come u look so pallid? The zr i used to know is not like this. Are u ok?" what happened..it seems that nothing wrong has happened, but yet everything seems to have gone wrong. Yesterday, someone said jj looks like one who's in a relationship..then i asked her if i look like as though im in a relationship, she said "no"..coz i hardly smile these days and look as if im juz out of love. I tried extremely hard to bring the ZR back today..but certain things just punch me right on the heart..it's not just a shallow description of feeling..but i could really feel the pain..it's like someone is trying to pinch and squeeze ur heart so as it will stop beating eventually. And u'd never to able to guess who or what the "fist" is. No..it's not THAT.
im beginning to doubt if i should still trust the word "trust".
Jj is at kallang KFC now..not alone..and im at home..half drunk and half alone. Theres a wall of fog building up between the two of us lately..i bet she thinks im avoiding her for no reason. No, im not trying to avoid her at all. Guess both of us are over exhausted. All this is happening coz we remind each other of what we are supposed to forget, we want to dump our memories..and it's sort of becoming us dumping each other. The thickness of the fog between us is directly proportional to the need to forget those stuff, k..take them as x and y respectively, the equation to show their relationship would be y=x and the gradient would be 1. the graph passes through the origin and is exactly identical to the on that u use to find the resistance of a resistor in a circuit.. nowi understand how doris is feeling these days completely now..guess i just have to get used to this kind of situation. Juz realized she isnt smiling a lot lately too.we two make good company. Best friends~ did u realize that u get angry with ur best friend more often than ur normal friends??? We enroll our best friend into our world..and what they see is our real self..even ur flaws cant be hidden from them..we tend to expect and request more from them..yes i have to admit that i expect tons from jj..at least i expect her to not to share stuff abt our friendship with others.. u may say im narrow minded..yes..fine..i cant enroll anyone else into my small little tiny world..Looks like her lifeliness and my deadness are pulling us apart.. it seems tt we are trying to punch each other in the exact same way, same direction and on the exact same spot. i havent shed a tear for ages, but u'll soon find me in tears. I dont wish blog will become the communication media btween me and jj. I've had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But i know no one's at fault. Maybe its juz coz too many things are going on nowadays.. hardly have any mood to do my tests..flung my physics tests today It's a sin to live life miserably. What I need is some courage, some pride, some ice breaker.
Be happy!!! It's a sin to feel blue and miserable..isn't it..??? why not just keep a permanent smile on your pretty face that won't be very difficult.. It's just a muscle exercise, that will keep you young and happy...
